Betterplan

Jesus christ. Watching this piece of shit was like fucking a dead goat. You know it's wrong and you don't really like it, but you keep going in the vain hope that there will be a big payoff at the end.

But there isn't and all you are left with is bits of goat stuck to your dick. Fuck knows how they got into the DVD player in the first place, but such is life.

I'm not going to explain the plot or review the film as such. If you trust me, just steer clear. I knew better than to watch it but I did it anyway, I can spot a bad film a mile away and this ticked all the boxes. I took a risk and I paid the price, which was a lot more than the cost of the DVD.

Although I was laughing when that bitch was running around a plane in what can only be described as a "comatose panic" at the thought of losing her kid. Fuck, I'd look more worried than that if I lost my beer in a toilet. And you know it still has to be in there somewhere. I'm not sure "concern" comes into the lives of millionaire actresses too often.

So, I came up with a better plan. I gave it to my little sister as a birthday present.

Yeah, fuck you. She might like it. Chicks dig shit films.

She's a much more tolerant person than me.

I'll get her something good next year.

Or just book into hell early.

My brother once gave me "The Office - Series One" two christmases in a row, so I figure siblings are fair game now anyway. Just because we both came out of the same mamma don't mean they gets a break, right?