Unnecessary Lesson 3: No, DON'T Be A Retard
I learned two valuable lessons this weekend:
Firstly, if you have been drinking heavily the day before and are likely to be sick at any point in time, do not drink a chocolate milkshake in order to settle your stomach.
When the beverage is rejected by your innards, the experience and end result is very reminiscent of vomiting out diarrhoea. It's quite unpleasant too.
Secondly, if one of your more retarded friends has been dicking around with a cigarette lighter (e.g. turning the flame up to around six inches in height), do not use this lighter for the first time whilst driving at 60 mph.
By the time I managed to throw the still flaming item out of the window, the car was well onto the wrong side of the road. By the time I got at least partial vision back, it seemed to have steered itself straight again. Fucking KP.
Firstly, if you have been drinking heavily the day before and are likely to be sick at any point in time, do not drink a chocolate milkshake in order to settle your stomach.
When the beverage is rejected by your innards, the experience and end result is very reminiscent of vomiting out diarrhoea. It's quite unpleasant too.
Secondly, if one of your more retarded friends has been dicking around with a cigarette lighter (e.g. turning the flame up to around six inches in height), do not use this lighter for the first time whilst driving at 60 mph.
By the time I managed to throw the still flaming item out of the window, the car was well onto the wrong side of the road. By the time I got at least partial vision back, it seemed to have steered itself straight again. Fucking KP.
posted by Peter O'Phile at
10:45 am
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