My Utterly Valid And Not At All Suspect Life Path

Your Life Path Number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others. Whether it be off a cliff, into a big vat of boiling water or just the path of a speeding car, you lead like a tiger. A leadership trained tiger with a basic grasp of the English language admittedly, but a tiger none the less. You have great drive and determination, but only when drunk. Nothing is going to stand in your way, unless they dig up your garage and find all those dead hookers. You seek out alcohol and the taste of fresh human flesh with a relentless passion that lesser beings may label as "clinically insane". Status and success are unimportant to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything and are constantly surprised to find the world is populated almost entirely by useless fucktards who would be better used to make rope and various car parts. At least you were surprised, until you made a note of this fact on your right hand ten years ago, which you have not washed since. In love you tend to take a protective role, even going so far as to freeze your "girlfriend" to avoid her ageing. Hopefully in the future, technology will be invented to thaw and revitalise her. As well as reattaching her head and limbs, obviously. You expect others to be like you, and as a result you are often looking over your shoulder and ducking into shop doorways to make sure you aren't being followed. A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first. Which is actually more than a little selfish and vain, you arrogant little piece of shit. Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you only need to keep reminding them of this until they build that 2000 foot tall gold statue of you on the moon.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Actually, that was quite uncanny. How the fuck did it know?