Unnecessary Lesson 4: For Fuck's Sake, Stop Being A Retard

Warning: If you ever find yourself talking to a woman you've just met and she goes hand in hand to the toilets with her male "friend", leave immediately.

If he returns with a smile on his lips and she returns with...well, you get the idea, leave immediately.

Do not, under any circumstances, consider it acceptable to continue drinking with her, no matter how impressively large her breasts are. Do not, under any circumstances decide to start taking personal liberties with your camera phone instead.

I repeat for clarity - leave immediately.

If you ignore these warnings and get to throwing out time do not, under any circumstances, decide it appropriate to accept her hugs and kisses goodbye. The realisation of what you have done, when seen in the cold light of the next day, will disturb even the most fucked up of minds for a good few hours.

Myself and SB have been showering (separately, you dirty fucks) for over an hour now. Still not clean...

However, when she leaves and her absolute prick of a friend doesn't, do as SB did, walk up to the bar and suggest that they throw him out. Do not provide any reason for this and walk away. Sit back and watch the fun. Still not clean...