Attention Scientists: Stop Trying To Kill Peter

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Fucking meddling scientists. You people have some level of responsibility you know. No, don't try to hide behind that "I just report my findings" banner, it won't stop a fucking super cosmic ray gun anyway. Come out with your hands up and throw that petri-dish on the fucking floor in front of you.

Good, now I've got your attention you guys need to shape up or slit your white as snow sun starved wrists to the fucking elbow - I haven't paid any mind to anything you've said since around 1982. I don't even believe your claims on global warming. Why not? Because the so-called scientific process has been destroyed by these half-assed studies and what seems to be systematic disingenuity on the part of Science. And also becaues global warming is clearly a load of old cock.

If I want to hear badly rationalised bullshit, wild speculation and fabricated sensationalism, I'll go to a fucking mosque. The job of science is to report facts and studies in an impartial, unemotional manner and to let the reader draw conclusions. And you're fucking failing. You're fucking up your own cause with any right-minded people who come across your latest "red wine cures AIDS but causes cancer of the cock" story. Go fucking hang yourselves in shame, you fucking harlequins. Wait, wasn't hanging linked to arthritis recently?