Peter's House Fucking Reeks Of AIDS
Fuck, my place stinks like a retard's ass the morning after a hard day of eating rubber bands and bits of string off the floor.
I've done the two week old dishes and taken out the two week old bin-bags full of decomposing babies and horse anuses, I've even scraped all the out of date food from the fridge (fight club anyone).
Yet still, walking into the Hotel Du Scat reminds me of the week I ate a Pizza Hut meal and accidentally shat it out into the washing machine instead of the bin, then washed my clothes in the rancid, bad pizza based shit.
I guess that having eliminated everything else, it must either be the puke down the side of the oven from last Friday's adventures or my shit-ridden clothes. Both are going to take quite some effort cleaning up.
Oh and by "adventures" I do mean "sitting alone in the dark, playing on a PS2 and drinking neat vodka because I was too hungover to go and buy any mixers". Sometimes even being Peter can seem to suck to the impartial observer, although I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. Takes all sorts, I guess.
Oh yeah and Pizza Hut; you fucking suck and it's your fault my fucking trousers are covered in fecal matter. Well, some of it, but I digress. Your pizzas are utter shit and you should hang your fucking heads in filthy shame.
I've done the two week old dishes and taken out the two week old bin-bags full of decomposing babies and horse anuses, I've even scraped all the out of date food from the fridge (fight club anyone).
Yet still, walking into the Hotel Du Scat reminds me of the week I ate a Pizza Hut meal and accidentally shat it out into the washing machine instead of the bin, then washed my clothes in the rancid, bad pizza based shit.
I guess that having eliminated everything else, it must either be the puke down the side of the oven from last Friday's adventures or my shit-ridden clothes. Both are going to take quite some effort cleaning up.
Oh and by "adventures" I do mean "sitting alone in the dark, playing on a PS2 and drinking neat vodka because I was too hungover to go and buy any mixers". Sometimes even being Peter can seem to suck to the impartial observer, although I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. Takes all sorts, I guess.
Oh yeah and Pizza Hut; you fucking suck and it's your fault my fucking trousers are covered in fecal matter. Well, some of it, but I digress. Your pizzas are utter shit and you should hang your fucking heads in filthy shame.
posted by Peter O'Phile at
6:58 pm
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