More Fun With Referers
A spinet total of two people have "stumbled" across this place after entering "cheeseburger joke" into Google.
To start with, this floored me for a number of reasons. Why would anyone be looking for joke cheeseburgers? What are these people hoping to do with a cheeseburger and whom to? Why would that kind of person even be allowed internet access? Or cheeseburgers?
I got bogged down in a cycle of bafflement. Each supposition (and suppository) just led me to further questions, before finally, it sank in:
I was selling casual visitors to this place short - there is literally no information on cheeseburger jokes in this oasis otherwise packed with enlightenment. I must make amends. If that's what the moronic public wants, then that's what the moronic public gets. Therefore, and without much further ado, the Peter O'Phile guide to cheeseburgers, jokes and cheeseburger based jokes.
Top 5 Cheeseburger Pranks:
5) Do not put any cheese in the burger.
4) Give them one of those squeaky dog toy things in the shape of a cheeseburger.
3) Make the bun out of desiccated cowshit.
2) Set fire to anybody ordering a cheeseburger, looking at a cheeseburger, or saying "cheese". Ever.
1) The McDonalds Cheeseburger (a repeat of prank 4 in many ways).
Top 4 Cheeseburger Related Jokes:
4) A man walks into a bar wearing nothing but a load of cheeseburgers stuck together with selotape. "What the fuck is that all about?" says the bartender. "Oh. It's kind of embarrassing, but I have an eating disorder" the man replies.
3) Don't you hate it when your mind plays tricks on you? The other day I made a cheeseburger and the dirty bastard filled the fucker with carpet tacks!
2) Last week I went up to a policeman and threw a cheeseburger in his face. He got angry and started to push me, at which point I whacked him with a second cheeseburger I had hidden in my other hand. Blinded with rage and bits of cheeseburger, he pulled out his truncheon and started to beat me to the ground. At this moment I pointed at him and shouted out in a clear voice "It's PC Gone Mad"! I got out of hospital yesterday.
1) Elvis.
Top 3 Things To Say When Someone Asks You About Cheeseburger Jokes
3) Get. Help.
2) What the fuck are you on about, you crazy shit?
1) The restraining order is perfectly clear about this kind of thing. Back to 50 yards, now.
Top 2 Cheeseburger Joke Punchlines
2) Raping a horse!
1) I haven't been cunting, drinkstable!
Top Cheeseburger Joke As Told By A Woman
1) "There's that one about the priest and the rabbi, then...oh, I've forgotten how it ends. You know, when he eats the cheeseburger then dies. Or does he die? Oh, I'm so bad at jokes...it's all sooooo embarrassing. I think I'll cry for a bit now, because I ate a cheesburger three days ago and looked a bit fatty round the ankles yesterday. Plus I'm on my period and you know how that plays havoc with my cheeseburger appetite..." (ad nauseam, ad infinitum)
Well hopefully that's that omission corrected anyway. In the unlikely event I've missed anything (given Petoral Infallibility and all), email me at PeterOPhile@Gmail.com.
To start with, this floored me for a number of reasons. Why would anyone be looking for joke cheeseburgers? What are these people hoping to do with a cheeseburger and whom to? Why would that kind of person even be allowed internet access? Or cheeseburgers?
I got bogged down in a cycle of bafflement. Each supposition (and suppository) just led me to further questions, before finally, it sank in:
I was selling casual visitors to this place short - there is literally no information on cheeseburger jokes in this oasis otherwise packed with enlightenment. I must make amends. If that's what the moronic public wants, then that's what the moronic public gets. Therefore, and without much further ado, the Peter O'Phile guide to cheeseburgers, jokes and cheeseburger based jokes.
Top 5 Cheeseburger Pranks:
5) Do not put any cheese in the burger.
4) Give them one of those squeaky dog toy things in the shape of a cheeseburger.
3) Make the bun out of desiccated cowshit.
2) Set fire to anybody ordering a cheeseburger, looking at a cheeseburger, or saying "cheese". Ever.
1) The McDonalds Cheeseburger (a repeat of prank 4 in many ways).
Top 4 Cheeseburger Related Jokes:
4) A man walks into a bar wearing nothing but a load of cheeseburgers stuck together with selotape. "What the fuck is that all about?" says the bartender. "Oh. It's kind of embarrassing, but I have an eating disorder" the man replies.
3) Don't you hate it when your mind plays tricks on you? The other day I made a cheeseburger and the dirty bastard filled the fucker with carpet tacks!
2) Last week I went up to a policeman and threw a cheeseburger in his face. He got angry and started to push me, at which point I whacked him with a second cheeseburger I had hidden in my other hand. Blinded with rage and bits of cheeseburger, he pulled out his truncheon and started to beat me to the ground. At this moment I pointed at him and shouted out in a clear voice "It's PC Gone Mad"! I got out of hospital yesterday.
1) Elvis.
Top 3 Things To Say When Someone Asks You About Cheeseburger Jokes
3) Get. Help.
2) What the fuck are you on about, you crazy shit?
1) The restraining order is perfectly clear about this kind of thing. Back to 50 yards, now.
Top 2 Cheeseburger Joke Punchlines
2) Raping a horse!
1) I haven't been cunting, drinkstable!
Top Cheeseburger Joke As Told By A Woman
1) "There's that one about the priest and the rabbi, then...oh, I've forgotten how it ends. You know, when he eats the cheeseburger then dies. Or does he die? Oh, I'm so bad at jokes...it's all sooooo embarrassing. I think I'll cry for a bit now, because I ate a cheesburger three days ago and looked a bit fatty round the ankles yesterday. Plus I'm on my period and you know how that plays havoc with my cheeseburger appetite..." (ad nauseam, ad infinitum)
Well hopefully that's that omission corrected anyway. In the unlikely event I've missed anything (given Petoral Infallibility and all), email me at PeterOPhile@Gmail.com.
posted by Peter O'Phile at
2:46 pm
1 Comments:
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer".
The bartender says - "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".
By
Anonymous, at 4:11 pm
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