2006: Just Another Year Of The Rat

Now don't get me wrong, I support the death penalty if applied indiscriminately to a large sample of humanity. There's way too many fucking people here, and a little human(e) slaughtering would go down like a gin and tonic smoothie first thing in the morning.

But at the same time I can recognise a kangaroo court with my head stuffed inside a koala's pouch, and here we have a prime example. So they held their quaint little foreign language pantomime, strung a man up, tormented him and then pulled the plug as he started to pray (to whatever fictional entity doesn't mind attempted genocide, I assume), all "secretly" recorded on a camera-phone for our viewing delight.

Don't worry though, if Uncle Tony tells you someone's a bad guy, you can be damn sure Uncle Tony will get his man swinging. Switch back to Channel 4, Celebrity Big Brother's on in 10. Uncle Tony's busy picking a new big brown bad man for us all to worry about, leave him be for a couple of days.

Justice? Justice was out dogging that day, just like she was when Uncle Tony's plane got hit by lightning but didn't explode and fall to the ground in a thousand swastika-shaped burning pieces.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/frontpage/4490809.stm

And she was taking a shit on a sleeping tramp when Dubya was absent from Dick Cheney's (admirable) shooting rampage. One little twist of fate, such a nicer world to live in. But no. Thanks, Justice.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4707354.stm

Hey, it doesn't just happen to dictators though. Where was that slack whore when a five-times Nobel Peace Prize nominee was being executed? Seriously, even I take more pride in my job than that lazy cunt. Well, at least as much pride, anyway.

A man imprisoned for life, helping people out? Fuck that, let's burn the fucker. That'll show...well, someone...that this kind of shit ain't on. Quick, before he finishes his next anti-gang book, warm up the generator*!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4486178.stm

And another fuck up as Little Miss Look-The-Other-Fucking-Way not once, but twice fails to kill the retard man-mountain who could have stepped in and stopped things (some reports claim he was too busy doing chin-ups to give a pardon, whilst others suggest he is morbidly afraid of the written word), Mr. Schwateverthefuckneger himself.

Shit, he face plants off a bike, smashes himself up skiing and gets lowered into molten steel and he's still pointlessly killing people? What the fuck is this guy made of? Headfirst into that tree and we're laughing, but no, she misses again and Captain California gets to live.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4601822.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6208095.stm

I give up. I can't do anything about it, so from now on, I will restrict my posts to pictures of cats like everyone else. Check this little fucker out!

Anyway, what I'm really trying to say here is...happy new year, whatever the fuck that means.

*Yeah, I know that in reality, he wasn't fried. Fuck you.