Looking Forward
My new year's resolutions:
1) Search for "my new years resolutions" on Google and kill every single blogger I find.
B) I don't know...uh...be more sarcastic.
$) I'm really struggling now...maybe...electrocute more animals?
4) Nah, fuck it. I'm pretty fucking perfect already.
1) Swear more, especially at children.
In a departure from my normal format, I would like to highlight a few things that I like. It'll be difficult for me, but here goes...
1) Family Guy, Season 5.
Seriously. The funniest thing to come out of America since the civil war. Truly fucking awesome.
11) Cancer
If there's a cheaper or funnier shot, I don't wanna know about it. That picture even looks like a bit like a pair of nuts, for fuck's sake.
K-aa) Knock Airport
Oh fuck. No, I got mixed up. I don't like Knock Airport, I fucking hate it. I was stuck there before Christmas in the fog. Basically, some one-toothed fucking retard built this fucking place with his bare-hands and a spade, right on top of the biggest hill he could find (presumably because planes fly high and he wanted to help out). So it got a little misty, and the place looked more like this:
That place was fucking closed. For a week. In the end they sent me on a four hour coach ride to Belfast, where electricity has been introduced and therefore planes can land using ILS.
Just look at that fucking place. The planes turn round in that big circle, because the bacteria that shat out the fucking runway didn't think to include taxiways in his grand plan. This shouldn't matter of course, because nobody sane would ever land there.
They even charge you a €10 fee to leave the fucking place, presumably because the cunt that put the departures shed up forgot to install any radiators. All the straggly, suicidal looking bushes were frozen solid, and not a single fucking heater in sight. Steer clear, unless you're flying a nuclear bomb, in which case I thank you.
Z,7) Odd Christmas Presents
Whilst I was gearing up to swim the Irish Sea, Mrs O'Phile's dad decided to kark it (see 2). It was certainly a strange christmas present from a loving and omnipotent God, but I hear it's the thought that counts.
Next time someone tries to tell me about their man in the sky bullshit religion, I'm going to tie them to a horse and drag them by their eyelashes for a mile down "Reality Road" (it's actually the A52, don't tell anyone).
Let's see how their invisible friend helps them out in that fucking situation. Cunts, the lot of them.
So yeah, Family Guy season 5. Wooooo!
1) Search for "my new years resolutions" on Google and kill every single blogger I find.
B) I don't know...uh...be more sarcastic.
$) I'm really struggling now...maybe...electrocute more animals?
4) Nah, fuck it. I'm pretty fucking perfect already.
1) Swear more, especially at children.
In a departure from my normal format, I would like to highlight a few things that I like. It'll be difficult for me, but here goes...
1) Family Guy, Season 5.
Seriously. The funniest thing to come out of America since the civil war. Truly fucking awesome.
11) Cancer
If there's a cheaper or funnier shot, I don't wanna know about it. That picture even looks like a bit like a pair of nuts, for fuck's sake.
K-aa) Knock Airport
Oh fuck. No, I got mixed up. I don't like Knock Airport, I fucking hate it. I was stuck there before Christmas in the fog. Basically, some one-toothed fucking retard built this fucking place with his bare-hands and a spade, right on top of the biggest hill he could find (presumably because planes fly high and he wanted to help out). So it got a little misty, and the place looked more like this:
That place was fucking closed. For a week. In the end they sent me on a four hour coach ride to Belfast, where electricity has been introduced and therefore planes can land using ILS.
Just look at that fucking place. The planes turn round in that big circle, because the bacteria that shat out the fucking runway didn't think to include taxiways in his grand plan. This shouldn't matter of course, because nobody sane would ever land there.
They even charge you a €10 fee to leave the fucking place, presumably because the cunt that put the departures shed up forgot to install any radiators. All the straggly, suicidal looking bushes were frozen solid, and not a single fucking heater in sight. Steer clear, unless you're flying a nuclear bomb, in which case I thank you.
Z,7) Odd Christmas Presents
Whilst I was gearing up to swim the Irish Sea, Mrs O'Phile's dad decided to kark it (see 2). It was certainly a strange christmas present from a loving and omnipotent God, but I hear it's the thought that counts.
Next time someone tries to tell me about their man in the sky bullshit religion, I'm going to tie them to a horse and drag them by their eyelashes for a mile down "Reality Road" (it's actually the A52, don't tell anyone).
Let's see how their invisible friend helps them out in that fucking situation. Cunts, the lot of them.
So yeah, Family Guy season 5. Wooooo!
posted by Peter O'Phile at
11:24 am
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